This subject was triggered by a conversation with my husband about his perception of people. He believes that most people are not trustworthy and that they will harm you if you lower your guard.
But I believe that no body wants to do harm on purpose, but instead being harmful to others is an effect of their unconscious actions.
It’s very clear in kids. When they are playing ball inside my lanai, for example, they don’t think about tearing the screen when they miss the ball. Are they trying to tear my screen on purpose? of course not; nevertheless, the consequence is the same. This can happen at all levels: when my husband forgets my birthday, when I forget to kiss good night my son, etc.
The key, perhaps, is to work with the unconscious actor by talking over the consequences of their actions. By bringing light to the obvious, we have a better chance of learning the lesson without creating grief in our lives.