I used to have long conversations with a friend of mine about her life’s situations. She would spend hours talking about how her husband was inconsiderate, how her mother had so many health problems, how the kids in the neighborhood were taking advantage of her daughter, etc, etc. I kept this friendship out of inertia for 6 years, until she moved overseas.
Now that I can look back and see more clearly, I ask myself “what did I do with all that information?” the answer is… not much. This information actually substracted energy from my life at that point, in the shape of thoughts and actions in an attempt to help her in vain. But my friend wasn’t looking for help, she was looking for someone that would support her unconscious habits.
So I unplugged from this friendship. As rude as it may look, this liberated both of us. I stopped feeding her unconscious habits, and my friend lost her audience, re-routing her energy in more productive activities… well, I can only hope for that.
A conversation is only worth keeping if it adds to your life. Complaining and gossiping can only drag your thoughts and actions into a path of wasteful use of energy.
We may not see the effects right away, but the misuse of energy is paid later in the form of stress and ultimately illnesses.