It’s OK to apologize to our kids

I’m afraid of missing an appointment, and when my kids are involved—because I have to drop them off beforehand or they have to come with me—I often scream at them out of impatience. In that moment, I’m misinterpreting their natural calmness and worry-free attitude as an offense and lack of cooperation.
The truth is that I didn’t think before yelling at my kids, “Why aren’t you ready when I told you that we had to leave on time!”, neither when I implicitly blamed them with a frown of frustration, “I’m now going to be so late”. Even though I caught myself afterwards—saw that my fear of being late overrode my rational self—I humbly apologized to my son.
The bottom line is that we have no right to be upset, there is no excuse for that. Either we catch ourselves prior or after the fact, the important thing is to correct the misperception that people “make us” mad; therefore, it’s alright to react accordingly. What’s really happening is that, with our emotional reaction, we are perpetuating a harmful cycle of misinterpretation that leads to judgment and unbalanced relationships.
Being a parent is not about teaching our kids to “behave”, but about leading them by example. If I want them to build the strength of admitting their vulnerability as humans, I have to start by apologizing when I make mistakes.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s