Not until recently, I was upset with my husband because I felt that he wasn’t supporting me in my artistic endeavors. Even though it was true that he disliked diverting money and time in my personal interests—and there was an element of jealousy—the deeper reason was that I had neglected him for a while. I didn’t neglected him on purpose or in obvious ways—I still made food, grocery shopped, and took care of the kids—but I neglected his need for closeness and undivided attention. I believed that being independent and self reliant was a sign of spiritual strength, until someone dumped me when our “spiritual contract” expired (whatever that means). I then realized that what makes us stronger as humans, is to work in cooperation with one another, to pick up the slack when someone falls.
Self reliance is only useful in the context of benefiting the whole.